


Letters

by SuzuyaJuzo



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Letters, M/M, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-10
Updated: 2016-10-10
Packaged: 2018-08-20 14:59:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8253250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuzuyaJuzo/pseuds/SuzuyaJuzo
Summary: John Egbert has been suicidal ever since he can remember. Dave Strider was his best friend he told Dave everything. Dave and John were a couple for a short time. Dave had suddenly not thought John was attractive. He stopped thinking anyone was attractive, so he broke up with John. John had started to write letters and sent them to Dave because they helped him even though Dave never responded. Since he never responded he thought Dave didn’t read them so he wrote any time he was upset or had a bad day. And he sent everyone. It was like a diary of his life after He and Dave broke up. This is the collection of letters





	1. Chapter 1

That first letter he sent was the day he broke. John had lost all will to live. His dad was dead his boyfriend broke up with him because he was unattractive, and worst of all he had no one who cared. At least that’s what he thought. He was writing the letter currently and just pouring all his emotion into it. 

 

“Dave,  
I know we are not together or anything anymore but I felt the need to write this letter. I love you and I always will but if you don’t want to I won’t force you. I miss you truly and I told you everything about me from what was stuck in my teeth that day to my depression. Without you I have no one to tell this to. So I bottle it up. I know I shouldn’t but I feel the need to because I don’t want to be a burden. So I’m putting everything into this letter. Lately I’ve felt worse then usual, I relapsed… again. And It seems like I can’t live without you. I mean my dad died you left Jade and Rose don’t talk to me much and I have no one else. But this relapse was worse then the other times. I cut down my whole arm in neat bloody lines. I’m wearing my sweatshirt again. I never take it off but you got me too when most of it had healed. It was all for nothing it seems. God what am I even doing this for bye  
John.”

He cried at his desk his arm still bleeding. “why am I doing this” he asked himself. “I don’t even remember why I started all this.” He said into his sweatshirt. No matter what he thought about the darkness in his mind would take over his thoughts and make it worse. He put the letter in the envelope and sent not even re-reading it even as he put it in the mailbox he cried.


	2. Chapter 2:The Club

A few days after John sent the first letter he still hadn’t gotten a response. He decided to write another letter. 

 

“Dave,  
I understand why you would ignore these letters but just one response would be great and possibly give me hope in this dreary world. Today I started senior year, 1st day over. It sucks more tan before knowing that I have no one to go to if I need to talk to someone just a series of letters no one reads. So I cut again on my arm until I had once again seen no more space to cut. Please respond let me know someone cares.  
John.”

 

He missed Dave dearly he missed having a family, having a family, having friends. Everything, he just felt nothing but sadness no matter how happy and quirky he seems. He shows no emotion when he doesn’t think about it. If he thinks he acts happy if not, he looks and seems like a robot. He was tired of life but he didn’t want to die just yet he wanted to but he was gonna give everyone a chance. This year maybe someone will care. This year maybe he will die. Who knows. He wished for it to over he wished for his dad back, he wished for Dave back, he wished for his life to be normal again. He was very tired. He went and sent the letter before trying to sleep. It never came. No sleep came that night or any other. So John did something he wasn’t planning on doing. He took out the fake I.D. he had made several years ago. And went to a club the one Dave tended to D.J. at. Dave lived not to far from John but he couldn’t visit him. He didn’t have much reason to go over there. He did go to the club often however hoping he would see Dave. When he got to the club, Skaia was its name, he looked over at the D.J. stand and did indeed see Dave. They made eye-contact for a minute before Dave came down from his stand. “hey john.” Dave said when he came up to me “uh. HI Dave” how are you?” He asked the blond in front of him. “I’m good I guess how about you?” he asked calmly “I’m fine” he responded worried but not showing it. Dave grabbed his right arm lightly moving his shades down just enough to see his eyes. “really?” he asks raising an eyebrow. “yeah.” He responded. “come with me.” He demands quietly. “o-okay” John said doing as he was told. Dave had brought him to the bathroom. “show me your arm John.” Dave demanded taking off his shades. He reluctantly obliged but took off his sweatshirt. He looked down at his feet not wanting Dave to have seen them again. “John…” he stared at the scars on John’s pale wrist, horrified. John just cracked he moved and hugged Dave. “I’m so so very sorry Dave” he cried into his chest hugging him tightly. “shh, shh” Dave whispered quietly. Rubbing my back. I calmed down a bit “John. I’m sorry about not responding to your letters I didn’t have time or the calm to.” He said quietly. John just nodded, silently and tear stained. Hugging Dave tighter then before still silently but so much was said in the silence of the bathroom.


End file.
